You find a private diary written in a messy, yet whimsical, handwriting... no one is looking, will you read it?

I Hated Thanksgiving – But I Let It Go

 

Diffusing my hate for Thanksgiving.

The Thanksgiving holiday is the celebration of a massacre of long dead native Americans by long dead Caucasians. You may not know that, I don’t care to spend my time referencing the truth for you. I am native american. This is not about that massacre or arguing… or trying to raise awareness of the true history… what it is is a celebration of the first year I have passed Thanksgiving in happiness and peace.

I did not celebrate, I did not change the celebration in any way to be able to enjoy it. I did do something that same day, I still live and each day is still valuable to me. I spent the day changing all the fall decoration to winter as that is when the weather and vibe in my own heart and area does change from fall to winter. I really enjoyed doing that, changing the fall white and grey to winter blue and silver. And I really enjoyed not worrying about feeling upset that I was celebrating the genocide of my ancestors… even though it is covered by a false story. I don’t need to celebrate Thanksgiving to enjoy fall, I enjoy the hell out of fall separately. I don’t need to celebrate Thanksgiving to eat a pumpkin pie… which I don’t actually like that much, I prefer pecan. I don’t need to celebrate Thanksgiving for turkey, I hate turkey and ham and if I wanted to I would eat them anyways when ever I wanted. I don’t need to celebrate Thanksgiving to see my family, I can see them all year and I do. I don’t need to celebrate Thanksgiving to be an American, I am an American and my holiday preference is never going to be everything Hallmark makes it is going to be what sparks joy in my own heart. I don’t need or want Thanksgiving in my life and when I realized that truly it made me happy being free to not celebrate it, it’s the way I celebrate my native american ancestors as well as support the holocaust victims and all victims of genocide and it lets me speak my truth about not supporting the treatment of native Americans and all repressed races through out american history. It’s a day of truth of ugly rape and murder in America’s history, but it’s no longer bitter. It’s about accepting the ugly truth, but seeing it as a passing season. Acknowledging mistreatment of Native Americans on Thanksgiving by not celebrating has let me let go of the bitterness I held so long about it. And letting go of the bitterness gave me that calendar day back to enjoy however I want. So instead of a place of hatred, it is now a day of joy for me as well and I don’t see people who enjoy Thanksgiving as naive fools of racist oppressors anymore, I just see them as free people who enjoy the holiday that to them represents a harmony between native people and immigrants, which is beautiful (even though not historically true). I can’t join anyone celebrating Thanksgiving, but I can give my blessing to everyone celebrating what brings them joy (as long as they aren’t infringing on others rights at the same time).

It feels very good to find peace in my heart surrounding the fact that I live in a country that celebrates the genocide of my ancestors. It frees my heart to find joy in the changing of the seasons, which I honestly love deeply. Instead of trying to get others to understand, just softly speaking and knowing our own truth and then living along with it is the very best medicine for holiday trauma. Yes, there were Americans who killed my ancestors and then celebrated and made up a more PC story down the line, but this year was the first year I was able to not let them get to me and rob me of a day of getting errands done in peace and doing whatever I want that day. Personal win.

I want to thank Mark Manson, from his advice I finally stopped giving a ? about the genocide of my ancestor being a ? holiday in this ? country… (I vote I can say this country is ? up! At least I do my part of attempting change)

I also think Thanksgiving is, because being grateful all the time or at least about three things each day makes live much happier and more wonderful and by trying to tie gratitude to one day it’s encouraging a really really bad habit of not being grateful the other days.

Romance (Valentines Day), gratitude (Thanksgiving), respect for women (Mother’s Day), can not be confined to one day a year each, without society being seriously up.

The real take away, I hope anyone who reads this gets is, don’t drink the poison of bitterness and hatred thinking it is somehow making you honorable or righteous the real honorable thing to do is stop giving a ? about ? and enjoy the things that do bring you joy with each day you have left to live.

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